Never Mess With Granny
by Osaru Sensei
Summary: A retired Huntress tells her grandkids stories when they get an uninvited guest. How will they save the day?
**Old age has never truly weighed a badass down. They carry their scars like a badge of honour, proclaiming to the world that "I've lived through the worst of the worst, and I'm still standing. Walk away _while you still can_."**

* * *

"Granny!"

The two children ran up to their grandmother and hugged her tight, a show of affection she was not slow to reciprocate.

"Hello little ones, I've missed you so much… You need to convince your parents to visit poor Granny more!" her grandchildren hugged her again as the young boy spoke up.

"We will! Where's other Granny though? Shouldn't she be here with you?"

"Granny's with your auntie and cousins on a business trip to Atlas, they'll be back tomorrow."

The younger girl ran towards a bookshelf, and returned with a copy of _Grimm Fairy Tales_.

"In the meantime… Granny, please read us a story!" The old woman accepted the book as she sat down in the nearest armchair. To her grandchildren's great surprise, she put the book back into the bookshelf.

"Oh, I can do much better than _that_ …" She leaned towards her young audience with a sly smile.

"… I'll _tell_ you one."

* * *

 _Many years ago, when the creatures of Grimm were still a major threat, there was a team of four Huntresses. They were widely acclaimed as the most skilled team that had ever graduated from Beacon Academy, and had won many battles against humankind's ancient foe. One day, they had been given the mission to exterminate a nest of griffons that had taken up residence in a cave system in Northern Vale. So they travelled there, and began their gruesome task. Their fearless leader swung her mighty war scythe, shredding dozens of foes in a single swipe. Her big sister punching and kicking left and right, setting her opponents ablaze. A silent shadow striking at the backs of the Griffons, only to vanish in thin air as they retaliated. In the rear, a mighty summoner, sending her fallen enemies to combat their former friends, ripping and tearing at each other like the soulless monsters they were. Their gruesome task complete, they got a room in the local tavern before next morning's long travel home. As they lay in their beds, the leader found she could not sleep. So she turned to the summoner and prodded at her gently. She told her partner that she couldn't sleep because she kept thinking what the future might hold, and if the creatures of Grimm would ever truly be defeated. The summoner sighed and answered that that worried her too, but to make tomorrow a brighter day, one should begin by working on today. The leader thanked her teammate for her wise insight, and then they both went to sleep. When they returned to Vale next morning, they were hailed as heroes, but when they were presented with the sizeable reward money they accepted only a fraction, donating the rest to various charities…_

 _And then they lived happily ever after._

* * *

"That was… actually a pretty good story, Grandma. You're getting better." The old woman looked at her grandson with an exaggerated pout.

"Well thank you dear. I've listened a lot to your other Grandma." Suddenly they heard footsteps on the front porch. The old woman narrowed her eye in suspicion.

"Hmm… I haven't got any appointments today… Albus, be a dear and get Granny's scroll from the bedroom, will you? And Melissa, you stay near your old Granny, okay?" No sooner had the young boy ran off towards the master bedroom of the small Patch cottage than the front door opened and an unknown man wandered in with a wild look in his eyes.

"I'll be taking yer valu'bles and heirlooms now if you don't mind, lady."

"I'm afraid that won't happen, young man. Perhaps you'd like some tea and chocolate cookies instead?" The stranger glared and pulled out a sizeable revolver, then gestured with it towards his bag.

"Valu'bles. Heirlooms. In the sack. O' the girlie gits it." The burglar aimed the revolver at Melissa, who was covering behind her Grandma. He looked back at the old woman, who suddenly disappeared from her spot. The next thing he felt was her gnarly hand around his throat from behind as she threw him to the ground in a chokeslam. She leaned down to look him in the eyes with a downright _furious_ glare. "Attempt to scare me all you want, but you. Do not. _Threaten_. My. Grandchildren." She pointed to the white-and-red rose emblem on the eyepatch covering her left eye. "Do you recognise this emblem?" The criminal paled.

"Oh Dust, yer…" the old woman smiled creepily as it dawned on the intruder just what bad luck he had in choosing this particular home to break into.

"Oh yes indeed. _The_ Crimson Blade. I've been taking on Grimm since before you were in diapers, boy. You're hardly on my level - should've taken my offer of milk and cookies. Ah, Albus. You're just in time." She looked at her just returned grandson.

"Call the guardsmen and tell them we've had an intruder, then call your mom and dad to come pick you and your sister up. I think that's quite enough excitement for you two this evening."

* * *

As her daughter and son-in-law had come to pick up her grandchildren, the old woman took to wandering her old childhood home. She walked into the master bedroom and opened a cabinet. On a hook hung a red, metal box which she took down and held aloft. With only minor difficulty she flipped the mechanism and the box extended outward into her old weapon.

 _Hello again Crescent Rose, my sweetheart. Did you miss mommy?_

* * *

 **AN: D'aww, wasn't that a happy ending? :D**

 **Did I fill you all with warm and fuzzy feelings? Then my job here is complete.**

 **I do not own RWBY, that's RoosterTeeth and Monty Oum.**


End file.
